Some people exude confidence in every part of their life. They breeze into a situation and steal the show. What is that thing they have? It’s called Confidence. You may feel like this person has it all figured out, but deep down, they too have insecurities they have to overcome. Dating can be fun! Meeting new people in an intimate situation is nerve-wracking, and it’s very common to have the jitters. You’ll ask, are they gonna like me? You’ll have self-doubt, and you may talk yourself out of going, but there are things that you can do in your everyday life to help you build that confidence, so when it’s time to go on the first date, you’ll be yourself and enjoy the process.
Your confidence all starts with your self-talk. Those positive reinforcements that I talked about in last month’s blog, are very important. Attracting positive vibes starts with the energy that you put forth into the world. Positive self-talk helps you move throughout your day with a good outlook. At the start of your day, give yourself loving, positive, and motivational words as you walk out the door. Meditate. YouTube has some great self-guided and guided meditation videos that you can do if you are unsure of how to start. Move your body in some form of exercise. These are all activities that you can do to feel grounded, manage your nerves, and be present while on your date.
Think of a time when you felt like your best self. Reflecting on good times, or doing things before your date that make you feel good helps build a confident self, and in turn, helps calm your nerves. If you have a support system, spending time with friends and family helps relax you as well.
Knowing what you bring to the table as a person, your achievements, your goals, and your strengths as a person is a great way to be confident in yourself. Make a list of them and any positive feedback you’ve been given before going on your date. These accomplishments are what draw people to you, and anyone would be happy to get to know you more.
Being prepared with a few questions can be helpful as an icebreaker. Questions like “What was the last movie you saw?” or “What made you laugh out loud?” Come up with something that is fun and can spark a conversation that you would enjoy talking about. You’ll get to know each other. You may even be able to have a different type of spark from the answers!
Dating is a two-way street. You are in control and can make a decision whether you like this person or not. Putting so much pressure on yourself to get a mate is tiresome. When you put in the work beforehand, you are subliminally saying that you are worth it. You start to carry yourself differently, how you say things and what you do are different, and you are looking at things in a different way as well. Be yourself, and your date will have to step up to the plate.
If you have questions about your dating style, a dating coach, or matchmaker can help you with strategies on how to approach a date. They are experts and can give honest and unbiased feedback on your demeanor, or shed light on your habits or mannerisms that may be getting in your way of a successful date. They are there to ensure you are dating with confidence, and walk away with a happy confident relationship.