“The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation..” -Cheryl Hughes
In the industry of matchmaking, professionals like myself always have chemistry, spark, and love as our selling point. But let’s be honest, it isn’t always a pretty picture, right? So today I’m going to talk about something very common, very controversial, and very real.
No matter how I think rationally about why people cheat, I still hit a dead end.
And don’t give me that, “It was only physical. I still love my girlfriend/wife.”
Or that, “He gets me better than him. But I still love my boyfriend/husband.”
If something doesn’t work out in a relationship, is the first option on the top of your head to go to someone else? The challenges and slight inconveniences in your relationship should be discussed with your partner. If you’re having trouble with physical compatibility then be open about your preferences and have your partner do the same. That way you find out what you both like. If you’re having issues with the way your partner shows their affection then tell them what you want. That way you don’t look for the love language you want from other people.
Inconveniences and challenges are supposed to test your love and make it stronger, not destroy it. Make good choices!
When you opt for cheating and get caught, here’s what your actions do to your partner;
- You make them question their appearance. The first thing that will pop into their heads is, “Is that person prettier/more handsome than me?” Or, “Does their body look better than mine? What do they have that I don’t?”
- You make them doubt themselves. They will ask themselves if what they’ve done for you was not enough that you had to look for it on someone else. They will go on and on listing things out that they could’ve done better to have prevented you from cheating on them.
- You make them lose belief in love. They will think that every relationship that they enter will end up with their partner cheating on them. Not only that, they will tend to generalize that all men/women are cheaters.
- You damage their mental health. The constant thinking of what they did wrong for their partner to turn to someone else, constant questioning of their appearance, constant doubting of self will take a huge toll on their mental health.
If you are a jerk that still thinks it’s okay to cheat on someone after these then, I’m sorry, not sorry, you do not deserve true love. A relationship you started by cheating will end up the same way, as well.
When the time comes that these problems can no longer be solved and you think the only option is to give it up, then tough up, and break it off formally!
Rather than sneaking around and cheating on your partner, don’t be a coward and have the balls to tell them that it’s not going to work out anymore, that you need a break from each other before someone gets hurt.
When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves—they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.
—Cheryl Hughes
You know, my friend has been feeling a little anxious recently. She wants to feel at peace because she’s been sensing certain signals about her relationship with this guy. To dispel any concerns and set the record straight, she’s considering giving her lover a shot at one of those cheating test services. She would probably agree that it will hurt their mental health to constantly wonder what they did wrong to make their spouse go to someone else, to constantly doubt their abilities, and to constantly question how they look.