Taking a break between relationships: Why it’s necessary

“You are not lost. You are here. Stop abandoning yourself. Stop repeating this myth about love and success that will land in your lap or evade you forever. Build a humble, flawed life from the rubble, and cherish that. There is nothing more glorious on the face of the earth than someone who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in to their most self-hating, discouraged, disillusioned self, and instead learns, slowly and painfully, how to relish the feeling of building a hut in the middle of the suffocating dust.” -Heather Havrilesky

Getting out of a relationship, no matter how long it was, takes a toll on us. May it be a healthy or toxic break-up, it’s absolutely necessary for us to have a break before taking on another relationship.

The chance of having a good and successful relationship off of a break-up is slim to none. This is because you have a rocky foundation, your emotional wellbeing is unstable, and most of the time, whether you admit it or not, you’re using someone to get over your ex and that is no way to start a healthy and lasting relationship.

Because of your desire to have someone help you heal and not really start something long-lasting, you make bad decisions due to a lack of judgment. Worst case scenario is you get hurt from entering a relationship right after getting heartbroken. It’s a vicious cycle.

I ain’t no psychologist but based on observation, the reason why people cannot be without a partner is always rooted in something inside their family. Most of the girls I know who jump from guy to guy had issues with their father. Most common instances like their father left early on in their child which is why they long for that fatherly love. With that, they risk entering relationships even from a young age to fill in that gap their father left which is why they can’t stand being alone between relationships.

Here are the reasons why it’s necessary to take a break between your relationships.

  • You give yourself time to heal. When a relationship ends, no matter how long or short it was, you need time to heal. Whether to give yourself a mental break or wanting to improve on your physical wellbeing, do whatever you want to get yourself in that tip-top health.
  • You find a sense of independence again. You will slowly find that you can do things by yourself. Things that you were so dependent on your partner, you will learn to do on your own. You will have a stronger sense of self once you realize that you are a complete person on your own and do not need someone else to make you feel so.
  • You have newfound freedom. Take this chance to reconnect with your family and friends. There are times when you’re in a relationship, you get too invested in your partner and make them your whole world. I mean, it’s not bad, but remember that it’s essential for you to have your own world, too. This way you have an escape, a rest, a different perspective once in a while.
  • You make better decisions on your next move. With the time you gave yourself, you get to reflect on the things that happened in your past relationship. You get to learn what you did good, and what you did wrong, and why it didn’t work out. You get to weigh the pros and cons of entering a new relationship and you have a better judgment of choosing a partner.

Giving your heart its much-needed rest will do ripples of positive effect on your wellbeing. You will find yourself doing much better. And remember this,

“You have the power to heal yourself, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds. Claim and consciously use your power.” -Louise Hay

Want some help with your next move in love, you can always talk to me. Visit my website https://connectricitymatch.com and join my professional singles database. Taking a chance on love is always, ALWAYS, a winning move.

Finding you the love that I have,

Trenia Johnson-Norford
Professional Matchmaker

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