The dating world can feel as complicated as it is intimidating, but it doesn’t have to with a few key tips and tricks up your sleeve to help guide you. Understanding the rules of sex in modern dating can be particularly troublesome — which is why it helps to be aware of general expectations before you broach the subject with a date.
The Waiting Game
Every individual is different in terms of what they expect of both their relationship and from their significant other, and that includes what their expectations of sex are. Obviously, there’s no reset button once you bring sex into your relationship, which is why timing can be so important. The best matchmaking site advice will always emphasize that waiting until the right time is key so that you can be sure you and your partner are truly ready.
What Does That Mean?
It’s simple enough. How comfortable are you two together in normal situations? Do you feel like you really know each other, or are you still tiptoeing around trying not to offend them with your true self? Consider where you’re at in your personal comfort levels with each other in your relationship, and consider whether or not enough time has passed for you to feel assured that you truly know each other and care for each other. You may need to devise a few more creative, romantic night ideas to help you both learn more about each other first.
What is Your “Why”?
Sex can mean a lot of different things to different people. Bringing it into a relationship with someone may be seen one way by you, and completely differently by your partner. It’s important to understand your own reasons for wanting to bring it into your relationship, and to be sensitive to your partner’s perception of it as well. If expectations seem unclear in sex and dating relationships, then bring them up, and ask for your partner to clearly communicate what they think and expect concerning sex.
There’s a right time to broach the subject, and it’s certainly not on the first date for those seeking something long-term. In general, know your motive in this area of dating and relationships, and seek to understand your partner’s, so that you can help make sure you meet each other’s expectations in the relationship without either party becoming disappointed or frustrated because of a lack of clarity. Sex and dating relationships can be confusing, but communication—no matter how awkward it may get — is essential.