Getting Over a Broken Heart: What’s Your Strategy?

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  1. Avatar
    Adam

    I’m all about removing every reminder of her that I find in my everyday life. You can’t get over someone until you significantly reduce the number of times you think about them over the course of a regular day, and you can do that until you get rid of the things that are going to remind you of them.

    Exercise.

    Also, someone once gave me an interesting counter-intuitive piece of advice: If you were the kind of couple who had “our songs,” then take a day and play them on a constant loop from sunup to sundown. Literally listen to the songs a 200 times each. Make yourself bloody sick of them. Then put them away. Now if you randomly hear one of the songs, you won’t be filled with wistfulness and longing, you’ll be completely desensitized. I don’t know if it works, but I might try it next time.

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    Daniel

    Seriously, the only way to get over someone significant is to throw yourself back into your social life. No, going out every night and looking for love in the wrong places is not right, but reestablishing bonds with friends, family, coworkers and others which may have been weakened during the course of your relationship is in my opinion the first and most important step to take to get your life back on track and avoid negative emotions. A solid network of other single people can remind you what life can be about when you’re not in a relationship. After both of my long term relationship breakups, I engaged in periods of reaffirming my connections with friends and family members, and I remember these times in my life very fondly because of this. What could have been times of depression and dwelling became opportunities to build up multiple relationships.

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    Daniel

    I will also mention that in my opinion, throwing ones self back into the “dating” scene is a bad way to go about things. Building relationships with close friends etc. will eventually draw a person back into the dating world, but at a better more organic pace.

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    Dee

    My best strategy for getting over a broken heart is hitting the gym! And this is because
    two things will inevitably happen…you will gain the attention of a new mate or make
    the old one fold at the knees of your new Hotness!!!
    Even when you don’t feel like it in the inside, looking hot and being happy is always your best bet!

  5. Avatar
    Erika

    Every situation is different when it comes to why you broke up, therefore requiring a different strategy for how to cope. While no breakup is easy I think you just have to approach it as a blessing. When one door closes another one will open. Just remember:,”Eventually all the pieces fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason.”

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    Andrea

    I would try to keep myself so busy that I didn’t have time to think about it. Do anything extra work, workout more or longer, even spring clean the house! One time I made a list of everything I wanted to finish or accomplish so whenever I thought about him I went to my list and checked something off. This helped me change gears and put me in a more positive mood.

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    Grace

    Well, having just come out of a 12 year relationship myself, I can tell you from experience that keeping busy with work, hobbies, & friends definitely works to keep your mind off of them. I also agree that cutting all ties, including their family, is best, but that had been the hardest for me after spending more than a decade with him, being completely immersed in his life. I will add that what I have felt has worked the best to move on has been staying positive about the failed relationship. I looked back at all the years I shared with my ex & took from it what I learned from specific negative moments. Because I changed/grew up throughout my relationship, I looked at how the relationship (good or bad) had changed me. I also give everything or nothing & realized that through all the trouble, I had learned to love him unconditionally. That has been the best gift I could have received & for that will always be thankful. Where I failed the relationship, I decided to see a counselor/therapist to work through it so I don’t repeat destructive or harmful patterns again. And to not completely burden my friends, who will be biased anyway. Having been proactive this way, I feel, has helped me heal quickly & happily.

    1. Avatar
      Trenia

      Grace,

      Thank you for such a heartfelt comment. Its admirable how you took a difficult time and not only turned it into a learning experience but allowed it to be therapeutic for you as well.

      Always continue to have such a positive outlook on life.

      Thanks again.

  8. Avatar
    Brett

    Try to find activities to take your mind off the person. Engaging in new social events could help you meet someone away from your current settings. Diet, rest and exercise help along with the occasional nightcap.

  9. Avatar
    Melanie

    I don’t think there’s any blanket advice for how best to get over a break-up – for me it’s varied widely depending on the other person and the circumstances for the break. Reconnecting with friends, working out, finding new activities you’ve always wanted to try — in other words, living the life you really want will bring you back to balanced and healthy. Generally I would say (and give my friends the advice) the less contact the better, but in my most recent breakup I’ve found that’s nearly impossible after running into my ex an uncanny number of times and places around town. In this case, I’ve found I can’t always be in control of the circumstances or my feelings at all times; so I do my best, forgive and keep living my life!

  10. Avatar
    Nicole

    One way to get over a broken heart is to cry it out, let the emotions flow, don’t suppressed them, then I would keep myself busy whatever that means for you, and also know that life goes on you will be ok, time heals all pain

  11. Avatar
    Kyle

    I have gotten over a couple big break-ups in my life, and what I find works best for me is to get drunk and high for as many days as my body can handle in a row. Then move on.

  12. Avatar
    Rae

    My best way to get over the Ex: is call my best friends invite them over and have them bring ice cream, chocolate, movies, and kleenex. We talk, I cry, I talk and I cry, we watch movies, I cry, we eat and I cry. Once the night is over I have to move on. I delate the ex’s number, I get rid of the things that where left behind and move on. Life is and so should I. I was wondering what do you when you do all of this and the Ex trys to come back, what do you do then?

  13. Avatar
    Magz

    Well the relationship didn’t work for a reason. And your not crying over the person per say, your crying over the good memories, but you have to remember the bad too or you will go running back into a bad situation again and again. I reccomend journaling. When your relationship is going down the drain and get into those frequent stupid fights write down your angery feelings and pour your heart out save the entries. When the relationship ends and your feeling nostalgic and want to call him, read a page or two of how he used to make you cry, that will be the dose of reality to get you to stop feeling sorry for what “was” and start focusing on what makes you happy.

  14. Avatar
    Kirk

    I find it interesting that two people can go from full throttle love to unadulterated loathing. How, as humans, do we justify such an extreme transition? I think it is too difficult for most of us to reconcile the pain that comes from misaligned expectations in a relationship. As a result, the most common policy is to sever the ties and move on… and that’s not always a bad thing.

    1. Avatar
      trenia

      Kirk,
      Thank you for such a thought provoking comment, and a FANTASTIC question. “How do we justify such an extreme transition?” This will be a great topic to blog about. In fact, stay tuned for A thin line between love and hate.

      Thanks again for your comment!

  15. Avatar
    Dean

    You make the best of the opportunity you have been presented with. Realizing it is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and grow as an individual. Go out and meet someone new to take your mind off the situation. Time heals everything!

  16. Avatar
    Marketta Mackey

    The best way to get over a broken heart is to get back to you. You give so much of yourself in a relationship that you forget to pull back and love you. In the beginning try to never be alone, Spend time with friends and family. Delete his/her number,Yes I said it..DELETE THE NUMBER!!! this will prevent you from seeing their name pop up and stir emotions back up. This will also stop you from txting and calling. If you do decide to be alone, stay busy!!!! take a kick boxing class or something high cardio. This helps release bad energy. My last piece of advise is ALWAYS LOOK GOOD!!! Go buy new cloths and shoes and get your hair and nails done. NEVER walk out the house without looking in the mirror and saying to yourself …IM HOT!!! and if you can’t say that about yourself go change your outfit!!!.

  17. Avatar
    Heather

    I believe the best way to get over a broken heart is to deal with the pain first. Feeling the emotion of a broken heart is very difficult but it allows you to come to terms with end of the relationship and how your heart can heal. I never have been one to jump into a new relationship. I think bringing old baggage to a new situation isn’t fair for the new person in your life. It allows you to realize your strengths and weaknesses if your alone for awhile. I have become a better person with every heart break. I have grown as a woman and a individual. Start over with a clean break.

  18. Avatar
    Y’lonn

    I think you have to first allow yourself adequate time to go through the steps of the mourning process. Breaking up is a “death” of a relationship. Everybody grieves differently however, we all eventually have to do it in order to be able to give yourself (and a new interest) a fair and honest chance at having a new/successful relationship. It is much easier to have a heart open for love when your heart is no longer harboring negative or unresolved emotions from a previous relationship. In short…..Deal with your emotions by allowing yourself to feel and identify them. Take responsibility for your part. Take heed to the lessons you learned from the relationship. Forgive your ex and yourself .

  19. Avatar
    Fabiola Ferere

    Reinvent yourself. Stay busy. Work on YOU and don’t be afraid to cry it out, then close the chapter and move on…

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