Romantic couples having a large gap in their ages often raises a lot of eyebrows. But in the age and time where everything is modern and a lot of people are open-minded, many people accept this kind of relationship.
While age is indeed just a number, some things should be considered even if this relationship is openly accepted in society or you truly love one another. After all, what really matters is love. But remember that this kind of relationship does not mean there are no challenges.
So, does age really matter?
Generally, it doesn’t matter at all. Regardless of age, orientation, race, size, or whatnot, love can surpass everything when it comes to having a relationship. Any couple can have a strong relationship as long as they love, respect, trust, and care for each other.
Having a partner who may be a few years older than you is considered the norm. However, when the age gap is too wide, it can look a bit unconventional to some, especially those who are conservative by nature.
But aside from what society perceives, maintaining the relationship is also not that easy–just like any kind of relationship, do you agree?
Let us find out what the possible challenges of having wide age gaps are:
The most significant issue that can be experienced with this type of relationship is the power gap. Typically, one person in the couple has more life experience and is often more financially stable. Because of this, it creates a “power gap”, and usually, the older person tends to want to be in control. At first, the younger person will feel great because he or she is showered with attention—emotionally, financially, and more. But eventually, it may feel very controlled thus creating strain in the relationship.
With the power gap as one of the challenges, marital instability usually takes place as well. Because of the age gap, other issues arise, such as the decreased value of consensus, financial issues, and even caregiving. Power struggles often happen, especially when the wife is older than the husband. And in some situation, the other half doesn’t accept such situation.
There are couples with a large age gap who experienced being disowned by their family. Friends, family, acquaintances, coworkers, and even society have all formed strong opinions about the relationship, which, unfortunately, become the reason why the relationship fails. The effect of such social pressure can result in isolation and a lack of support that makes it difficult for the relationship to continue and thrive.
Couples who usually have a wider age gap may also experience issues when it comes to having children. This may be due to health reasons or simply a choice not to have one. Priorities may be different, and this may cause some issues in the future.
How to make the relationship work?
Here are some ways that you can do that:
Share your expectations.
While this applies to all relationships, it is especially important for couples who have large age gaps. Set expectations and talk about them. For example, a younger woman in the relationship may want to have children right away or not, or the older man may want something else. So, make sure that this is honestly shared and discussed clearly.
Determine your common interests.
Find out your mutual interests. Spend time doing the things you both love or meet both of your friends. This will help in bridging the gap and empower both parties. Explore one another’s wants and needs, try new things together, and be involved in each other’s lives.
Do not cling to your partner too much. It is critical to recognize that both of you require space in order for the relationship to function properly. Do take some time for yourself and recharge. Hang out with your friends or do activities that do not involve your partner. Maintaining balance and a sense of individuality in your relationship is as important as developing shared experiences and common interests.
Accept your differences
It is normal to have a lot of differences. Therefore, you both need to be patient in accepting them. Instead of trying to force your partner to conform to the lifestyle you have, be supportive of one another.
Be flexible and open-minded
Life will throw a lot of challenges at your relationship. Having an open-mind and staying confident in your decision will give you peace and clarity, so there’s no need to overthink.
Be flexible and empathetic with your partner. Don’t be too strict or rigid because this will help both of you understand one another.
No relationship is flawless. It doesn’t matter if you have a large age gap or not, because relationships have challenges. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t enter into one. As long as there is love, trust, affection, and care for one another, there’s nothing wrong with having a large age gap.
It is also important that couples work hard to make the relationship work. Make sure that both fully understand what they are getting into. Be honest and open with each other, focus on ways to prevent
the differences, and learn to recognize that there will be differences at any given time—AND THAT IS OK!
Be happy and enjoy one another!