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Ask a Matchmaker: Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends?”

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    Before I was married I would say yes, men and women can be just friends. Now that I’m married I would have to say men and women cannot be just friends. It’s always a one-sided friendship just like the guy in the video said. Physical attraction always gets in the way:)

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      This is very interesting. I’m curious about how and why marriage changed your view on this? Do you think that men and women can’t be friends if one is married? Or has being married evolved your opinion to the point where you think that men and women can’t be friends regardless of their current marital/relationship status?

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    I think men and women can be friends however if there is a physical attraction between them both it would make it impossible to be friends

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    Personally, I am have several male friends that I hold near and dear. The thing is, I only become close friends with guys that are not interested in me or are unavailable. That way romance is never considered and I can benefit from all of the advice and insight they have to offer.

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    One of my closest friends is a male…and yes when I 1st met him…he tried to kick game…but after I turned him down…he didn’t pursue me after that, rather he preferred us be friends. Fast forward 10 years later…he’s like a brother to me…no kissing…no sex…nothing but pure friendship! (unlike Bobbi Kristina). People always say “y’all 2 should just be together” but we both have agreed our friendship means more to us than anything and we don’t want to ever do anything to change that dynamic!

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    Common interests are usually the start of friendships. When you’re attracted to someone, this seems to be one of the first common interests. If this is the case then no; but if your friendship was formed from non sexual interests then yes.

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    I believe that men and women can just be friends if expectations and motives are communicated early on. It is important to have friendships of the opposite sex to help better understand where your mate is coming from when you do enter into a relationship.

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    It depends on the man or woman and their level of sexual attraction towards each other. The lower the degree of sexual attaction, the higher degree of friendship.

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    men and women can be just friends. There is one contradiction to this though and that is the movie, when Harry met Sally. One person is always going to be attracted to the other more or less but, its how the two people involved manage that attraction. People have control of there actions and emotions and therefore men and women can be friends.

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    men and women can be friends BUT only if they are not attracted to each other and this is established at the getgo. however, even with an attraction and actual sexual involvement, I don’t feel this would get in the way of the friendship as long as neither side has formed a certain attachment to the other person.

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    i think the more 2 people enjoy time with each other (personal time..not ‘group of friends’ time) the more romantic feelings will develop. and before sex even happens, the line is crossed. sex is the most physical a person can connect with another. but there are so many emotional layers that ‘friends’ start connecting on that are deeper; and because they can’t be seen, are ignored or are dismissed out of fear of not being mutual. i also think a lot of this happens on a subconscious level and is only apparent when the relationship is forced to change (i.e 1 of the friends gets booh’d up w someone else).

    SO, i think, yes, ‘just friends’ can exist if the 2 are honest with themselves and then the other about the feelings. .

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    I think men are fine being friends with women and visa versa, unless they are in a relationship. Every girlfriend/wife will question why their husband/boyfriend is “friends” with another girl. Guys would ask the same question of their wife/girlfriend. Ecspecially, if they used to date that friend.

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    Matt D

    I feel like at some point in a friendship between a man and a woman at least one of them is sexually attracted to the other in one way or another. It all depends on how they handle the feelings they have. With that being said, I completely agree with Austin. It is very difficult to have a friendship with someone of the other sex when you are in a relationship. No matter what there will always be something that makes the one’s significant other jealous, suspicious, or concerned about when you are with them. And that is completely understandable due to at least one of them most likely having some sort of want and/or feelings that goes beyond a friendship.

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    The results of the college campus poll is no surprising. I would have agreed with all the guys when I was that age but since I have grown and matured my view has changed. I now have several friendships with women that started out as friendships and have continued that way.

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    Fabiola Ferere

    I agree with the video. I don’t think it’s possible for a man and women to be friends. One friend secretly likes the other friend and is waiting for the perfect vulnerable opportunity! Ladies beware lol!

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    I agree to the point that men and women can not be friends. In the begining yes, but over time no. One has to let go in order to move forward, especially if your in a serious relationship that you want to hold onto.

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    Ofcourse it is! I think the confusion here is that we need friendship and attraction to start a relationship so it often can evolve into something more, but just because you have a friend of the opposite sex that is attractive, does not mean it is, or ever will be more then then just that; friends.

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    I think that on some level a guy is always going to have the need to conquer, or put notches in his bed post. It might be small enough to never manifest itself but this is how we evolved.

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    I think guys and girls can be friends, and they can range from casual to close to intimate. Of course, it depends on what they want/expect out of their friendships and how they handle those desires but tensions exist in relationships of all shapes and sizes; between friends; lovers; and family. Yet, they work. We make them work. If you’re willing to put forth the effort, to adjust and grow, then you can have a friendship with anybody.

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    It’s possible. I work with a lot of men, they know I’m not interested, and they’ve come to respect me and a friend, and that’s that. cobalt.

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